


No Eren, That's Not a Titan

by justaglitch



Series: Interdimensional [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Attempt at Humor, BAMF Levi Ackerman, But he's a king, Connie Springer is a Little Shit, Crack, Crossover, Don't Blame them, Eren Yeager is a Little Shit, Gen, I love him your honor, Jean Kirstein Being Jean Kirstein, Mineta Minoru is Expelled from U.A. High School, No Beta, Or don't, Sasha Blouse Being Sasha Blouse, Shinsou Hitoshi is in Class 1-A, Short Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), What else is new, are the corps flat earthers?, armin: why are we still here... just to suffer?, as he should be, eren "the world is my enemy" yeager, eren: eren yes, flat earth debates, he wants to fight!!, hey maybe we should stay then, i love them so much help, if he hadn't been paku would've bribed UA to do it, is levi related to feitan??? who knows, maybe so, mikasa: eren no, non-binary Hange, oh wait we've still gotta kill everyone outside the walls, okay i'll stop, read the first work in the series, that's probably a mistake, the education system on Paradis isn't spectacular, the jokes are all in jest, the multiverse is a weird place, whoops, you mean there are no titans here??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29645523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justaglitch/pseuds/justaglitch
Summary: Eren's yell of "TITAN!" has the entire group drawing their swords."I thought you said there were no titans here!" Armin sounds panicked."Why is it wearing spandex?"(Connie always asks the important questions.)Mikasa narrows her eyes. "Another female titan... So it wasn't just Annie."Aizawa blinks. He follows their gazes to the television, which is playing recent news."That's... that's just Mount Lady." The Corps stares at him. Sasha hesitantly raises a hand."Sir, why would you... name a titan?" Hange looks taken aback for some reason."That's a hero. Her quirk allows her to increase in size.""Are you sure?""...Quite sure.""And she won't eat us?"Aizawa makes an incredulous face. "She's a hero."They don't look convinced.
Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Class 1-A, Survey Corps (Shingeki no Kyojin) & Class 1-A
Series: Interdimensional [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176596
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	No Eren, That's Not a Titan

**Author's Note:**

> Set after AOT season 3!
> 
> Let me know if you want to see serious versions of any of these crossovers where there's more plot rather than just snippets. I've debated doing some but these short crack ones just come to me sometimes.
> 
> Boku no Hero Academia and Attack on Titan belong to Kohei Horikoshi and Hajime Isayama respectively.

Name: Yamazaki Akiko  
Alias: Chaos  
Sex: Female  
Gender: Female  
Age: 37  
Quirk: Interdimensional  
Quirk Description: For each second of contact, an unspecified number of individuals will be summoned from an alternate dimension to within 10 meters of the affected party. They will remain in this world for one week before being sent back. If active for multiple seconds, the quirk will swap the travelers for those of a different dimension each week for the amount of time the quirk was active.

><><><><><><><><><><

Week 2

><><><><><><><><><><

Aizawa sighs. He’s been doing a lot of that lately.  
It quickly becomes evident that Akiko had her quirk active for longer than a second. Instead of closing once the Troupe disappears into it, the portal spits out one adult and seven children-- wait no, one of the small ones is just a short adult-- onto the floor. Aizawa groans under his breath at the sight of their clothing and swords.  
He just wants ONE peaceful day. ONE.  
The tiny adult is the first to stand, sharp eyes flicking around the room, cataloguing the exits and occupants before settling on Aizawa. He has good instincts, it seems.  
With all the craziness of the past week, Aizawa really shouldn’t be surprised when the first words out of the man’s mouth are, “This place is a filthy pigsty.”

\---

During introductions they learn that the group, known as the 104th Cadet Corps (or what’s left of them: one of them became queen recently despite being barely older than the first years, and some are dead) as well as Levi and Hange come from a world with no quirks. They do have titans, though, which the Survey Corps deals with on their expeditions outside their protective walls.  
“They’re huge and ugly,” Jean remarks. “Some more than others.”  
“The huge part or the ugly part?”  
“Both.”  
Eren looks offended. “Not me, though, right?”  
“You’re the ugliest of them all,” Jean declares. “Obviously.”  
As Eren tackles Jean, Aizawa does a mental double-take.  
“Wait wait wait. What do you mean, ‘not me, though’?”  
Armin shrugs. “He can turn into a titan. Me too, actually.”  
Kirishima gasps. “That’s so manly! What makes you two able to do that?”  
Hange grins. “Eren ate his dad and Armin was dying so he ate Bertholdt.”  
“...”  
Turns out nobody knows how to respond to that. It… must be a joke.  
Yeah.

\---

Class 1-A are stunned to find out that technology is far behind on Paradis Island where the visitors come from.  
“You mean you’ve never watched TV?” Mina looks affronted.  
“...What’s that?”  
“You watch things on it! Either pre-recorded or live!” Denki is practically jumping up and down.  
“But…” Jean hesitates. “How does it work?” Denki’s smile dims.  
“Uh… something like…” he scratches his head before brightening and snapping his fingers. “Magic!”  
Jirou pokes him in the forehead. “Dumbass.”  
“This is unacceptable,” Hagakure insists. She turns around to speak to everyone within earshot. “There’s only one possible course of action… MOVIE NIGHT!”  
Jirou grins. “Let’s start with musicals.”  
“Or Disney!” Denki chimes in.  
Aizawa glances at the two adults. Hange looks just as excited as the kids, while Levi looks like he’s considering banging his head against the wall.  
Aizawa can relate.

\---

“Hange, stop terrorizing that kid and help me convince Sasha not to steal anymore food from the cafeteria. We already get several meals a day.”  
Hange puts down the bawling purple midget. “I wasn’t ‘terrorizing’ him,” she points out. “I was just asking if I could dissect him. LOOK at him! What are these? This world is so cool! And weird! I love it!” Mineta sprints away as fast as his tiny legs can carry him.  
“Yeah, yeah. Just hurry up, she’s going to get sick from overeating. Connie has joined her for a hot-dog eating contest.”  
“Ooh, who’s winning??”

\---

Eren's yell of "TITAN!" has the entire group drawing their swords.  
"I thought you said there were no titans here!" Armin sounds panicked.  
"Why is it wearing spandex?"  
(Connie always asks the important questions.)  
Mikasa narrows her eyes. "Another female titan... So it wasn't just Annie."  
Aizawa blinks. He follows their gazes to the television, which is playing recent news.  
"That's... that's just Mount Lady." The Corps stares at him. Sasha hesitantly raises a hand.  
"Sir, why would you… name a titan?" Hange looks taken aback for some reason.  
"That's a hero. Her quirk allows her to increase in size."  
"Are you sure?"  
"...Quite sure."  
"And she won't eat us?"  
Aizawa makes an incredulous face. "She's a hero."  
They don’t look convinced.  
Jirou is confused. “You guys said you hate titans. But… you two--” she gestures to Armin and Eren-- “said you can turn into them?”  
“I don’t eat people,” Eren explains.  
“Except your dad.”  
Mikasa has to hold Eren back from pummeling Jean.  
Armin pinches the bridge of his nose.

\---

It’s 3 AM when Midoriya hears screaming downstairs. He’s instantly on the alert, blinking his eyes clear and hurrying down the stairs. Villains? Maybe the League?  
He trips on the last step and is sent sprawling forward onto the floor. He hears a snort of laughter as well as… music?  
Okay, so.  
Turns out the screaming was Sasha and Connie singing “Let it Go” from their new favorite movie Frozen.  
(“Look Sasha! It’s Annie!”  
“Wha- Oh my god, I get it, because she’s frozen!”  
“HAHAHAHAHA-”)  
Shinsou sits on the couch with a cup of coffee and faint amusement flickering across his face. He pats the spot next to him and Midoriya sits down.  
“They’ve been on a Disney marathon all night. Mina, Sero, Denki, Hagakure and Jirou have been showing them all their favorites.” His gaze drifts to where Sasha and Connie are clinging onto each other, singing and swaying.  
“IT’S FUNNY HOW SOME DISTANCE  
MAKES EVERYTHING SEEM SMALL…”  
He nods. “Looks like we have a winner.”  
The silhouette of an angry Bakugou appears in the doorway and informs them that he will cut out their tongues if they don’t keep it down. Sasha sighs.  
“But then I wouldn’t be able to taste food anymore...”  
Bakugo looks at her like she’s crazy. 

\---

When Momo sits down to read, Armin taps her on the shoulder nervously. He wants to know what the book is about.  
“I like to read,” he explains, “but the selection on our island is pretty limited.”  
Minutes fly by as they discuss the similarities and differences of their worlds’ literature. Their topic of conversation shifts to quirks.  
Armin finds Momo’s creation ability fascinating.  
“Wait, if you can make non-living things only, could you make food?”  
Momo considers it. “Probably.”  
“Wait…” Armin’s eyes go wide. “Would eating it be considered cannibalism?”  
The two take a moment to think about it.  
“I don’t know,” Momo says. “I’m never going to stop wondering now. You said you’re a… ‘titan-shifter’, no? Could you show me one of these days? I’m curious.”  
“Haha, no.”  
Momo waits for him to elaborate. Armin chuckles awkwardly.  
“...I don’t want to nuke your city.”  
Ah.

\---

It’s during class when it happens.  
The visitors are sitting in the back of the room (save for Hange and Levi, who are in the teacher’s lounge) and watching the lessons with Class 1-A. The video that’s playing is a geography one, and the projector depicts a model of the Earth before zooming into a close-up of Japan as the video begins. Connie snickers.  
“It’s already inaccurate.”  
Eren nods. “I thought you said this was a prestigious school?”  
Oh no.  
“Are you an idiot?” Bakugo scoffs. “Don’t tell me… I thought flat-earthers all died out by now.”  
“Flat… earthers? Of course the world is flat.” Mikasa looks confused.  
Sasha groans impatiently. “This is a different world, you guys. Obviously their Earth isn’t like ours.” Connie makes an ‘ahh’ sound and does finger guns.  
“Wow, you said something smart!” Sasha shoves him playfully.  
Meanwhile, Iida looks like he’s having an existential crisis. “But-- it can’t be-- though maybe, since it’s a different world-- no.” He looks up sternly. “The most likely answer is that you do indeed live on a round Earth!” He makes a chopping motion with his hand. “Think about physics! And gravity!”  
Jean taps his chin. “No, because gravity pulls things down. So if our world were round, the people outside the walls would be falling off the bottom!”  
“Yeah!” Eren jumps in. “And since the titans are heaviest, they’d fall first. And the titans are near the walls, and they never fall, so. It’s definitely not round.”  
Class 1-A stares. Aizawa face-palms so hard he thinks he leaves a print.  
“Just watch the damn video.”

\---

Levi has been vacuuming for the past hour. Aizawa doesn’t know why he decided to clean the entirety of the dorm common room as well as the 1-A classroom, but he’s been sweeping, wiping and scrubbing nearly non-stop for the past few days.  
Hange tells him that they don’t have nearly as advanced cleaning supplies back home.  
“I mean, you should have seen his face when the pink one showed him the roomba,” they chuckle. “He’s a bit of a clean freak. Don’t worry about it.”  
Aizawa decides not to complain. It’s free cleaning, after all.  
God forbid his students ever do it themselves.

\---

Mineta walks into the common room to see Hange giving a noogie to Levi, who’s radiating “piss off” vibes. He fights the urge to back out of the room.  
“Look! That one is even shorter than you!”  
Levi shoots a disgusted look at Mineta.  
“Don’t compare me to that thing.”  
His glare makes Mineta whimper.  
“Height isn’t everything,” Asui points out.  
Hange slings an arm around the shorter man’s shoulders. “True! He’s not called ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’ for nothing!” Levi leans away.  
“Tch.”  
Hm. Aizawa blinks. Short, dangerous, same haircut, same eyes… What did Feitan say his last name was again?  
Ah shit, maybe Todoroki is rubbing off on him.  
Kirishima tears up. “‘Humanity’s Strongest’? That’s so… manly!”  
Aizawa subtly checks the man for tattoos. He’s already had to dissuade Kirishima from getting a spider tattoo after the Phantom Troupe left. Different universe or not, he doesn’t really want his student associated with a homicidal gang of bandits.  
Why does he always attract the weird crowds?  
Aizawa thinks he needs a break.  
And a raise.  
And a nap.

\---

Jean can’t sleep. Maybe it’s the unfamiliar atmosphere or the fact that he can feel the cold ground through his futon.  
He goes straight to the kitchen for a glass of water only to catch sight of a slim figure outlined in the dark.  
“Holy- why are you just standing in the dark?” His loud whisper echoes in his ears.  
A grey eye and a blue one gleam back at him.  
“Why aren’t you?”  
“...”  
Sato gets up early to bake something for breakfast. He walks into the kitchen only to see Jean and Todoroki standing side by side, staring at nothing.  
He turns around and walks back out the door.  
Not another one.

\---

It’s Mikasa who gets sucked into the portal first, a barely audible cry of “Eren!” leaving her lips. He shrugs and joins her. Armin says goodbye to Momo and Iida, having started a temporary book club during their short stay. He disappears into the vortex as well.  
Todoroki walks up to Jean and looks into his eyes before nodding and shaking his hand. Jean laughs awkwardly before stepping into the portal. Hange follows, seemingly sad that they didn’t get the chance to experiment on anyone. (Aizawa had kept them from Nedzu for this very reason). Levi inspects the room before nodding once.  
“Don’t dirty it up again.” He doesn’t wait for a reply.  
When Sasha and Connie say goodbye to the “movie squad”, there are tears and hugs as well as some reenacted scenes from some of the particularly memorable Disney movies they had watched. Sasha eventually drags Connie toward the portal, waving goodbye. It’s a few seconds after they disappear that Aizawa realizes the portal isn’t closing.  
Oh joy, that means there’s more coming.  
Aizawa slips into his sleeping bag and rolls under the table.  
He’s too tired to deal with this right now.

**Author's Note:**

> Another finished! Don't know what I was expecting, but this one kinda wrote itself.  
> If you were curious, Sasha beat Connie in the hot-dog eating contest. She was able to eat 23.
> 
> Should I do one with the Black Bulls? Or maybe some AssClass characters? If I were to do BSD I'd probably choose to bring the ADA + Chuuya because I'm weak for Chuuya. 
> 
> Again, let me know if you want to see serious versions of any of these crossovers where there's more plot rather than just snippets.
> 
> If you got this far, thanks for reading!!  
> Glitch signing off!


End file.
